Hi there, this is a really great question because everyone (including myself) has suffered at one point or another from the negative things people have said about them.
Here’s how I’ve personally learned how let go of the negative things people have said to/about me
- Accept your pain – don’t try to ignore it or mask it because negative energy will only store up or come out later – maybe even when you least expect it. So don’t deny what you feel. Scream, cry, punch your pillow, journal about it, or even repeat “that hurt so much why did they say that to me” as much as you need to. Remember, it’sOKAY to feel bad when someone hurts you. Pretending that it doesn’t hurt when it does will only make you feel worse.
- See the hurt in your offender –Try putting yourself in your offender’s shoes. Think about how you felt when you were mean to someone. I bet you felt small, frustrated, humiliated, or were just angry because you had a bad day in general. Don’t just assume the worst because someone is mean. They’re probably hiding a lot more pain then you can ever imagine. (Remember, everyone is fighting their own battle!)
- Fight fire with water – I actually read this one in a book one time and it’s stuck with me ever since. Send loving thoughts, words, and actions to the people who’ve hurt you. This will make you feel much better. Think about it, if your offender is already suffering from a pain they may hold deep within their heart, do you think it’ll help if you add onto their pain? It is only when mean people are happy and free from suffering that they will stop trying to take others down with them. And you can help them become free of their pain if you share your kindness and warmth with them.
- But if all else fails… Have a strong sense of self– As in have strong and positive opinions about your values, beliefs, and about yourself. When you are able to have unwavering opinions, it doesn’t matter what others say to you. If you’ve already made up your mind to believe that your shoes are “funky and cute” it probably won’t bother you if someone says snidely that “Your shoes are really weird.” Have a strong sense of self; this will create a barrier from the negative opinions of others from even entering your head!
I remember one time this girl I hardly knew didn’t like me because she didn’t think I was pretty. After I found that out I was so hurt to learn she not only thought I was ugly, but to learn that she judged so harshly only on physical appearance. Her comments hurt – A LOT. But you know what? I continued to smile and wave whenever I saw her and she always returned my kindness with genuine confusion. I felt good being nice to her (I mean, who actually likes being mean?) Then one day I saw her sitting by herself at a basketball game looking embarrassed, as if being alone were something to be ashamed of. And I (along with my friends) went to go sit right beside her. She did not refuse the company. And not to my surprise I learned that she didn’t have many friends and that hardly anyone liked her.
So if there’s anything I want you to remember from this rambling answer is that mean people often are often hurting and they just don’t know how to be nice. They’re the weaker ones. If you’re kind to them, it’ll start what I like to think of as a great chain reaction. You’re kind to bully — > bully becomes inspired and is kind to someone else —> someone else is inspired and is kind to someone else — > etc. Of course it can’t always be that easy. But to me (and I hope to you) it’s always worth a try!
Now I will leave you with one of my favorite quotes – “Be kind. You can change the world, one person at a time.”
Sorry my answer was so long but thanks for wishing me a nice day! I hope you have one yourself ^^